My prayer is that God will give you, the reader understanding and comfort that this is not about the people involved but for the individual of this testimony. It’s not to offend or call anybody out because it was all for God’s glory. So, if you look for me, you will never find me until you are able to look beyond the surface of my outer beauty. If you won’t to know who I am ask God to remove the scales from your eyes, so you can see His fearfully and wonderfully made creation. Because every good and perfect gift comes from above.
You are my strength, a power that I can’t explain. The power that filled me when I was empty. When I almost let go, Lord you held on to me and I can’t imagine leaving you for the things that I can see.
Lord, I can speak for only myself, all I can do is what is required of me. I pray that my land be healed in the mighty name of Jesus. As I walk this walk of faith heal and deliver me from my destruction. You are my rock, my solid foundation and all I need is you. My bright and morning star Lord is what you are in my early morning sight. All blessings and honor belong to you. There is nobody greater than you Father God and I give you all of me. My life is in your hands and forever you will be in my heart. I love you Lord God and I put no one before you, everything that I am is because of you. Thank you, Jesus my Lord and Savior, for saving me, in Jesus mighty name I pray Amen.
My ministry is about helping others get through the pain, the hurt, and to see a better outcome. God has never let us down, he has and will always be there. We let ourselves down when we don’t do what he has ask of us. I’m not here to play games or condemn no one but to uplift and let you know that My God “so love you that he gave his only begotten Son so that whoever believed on him will not perish but have everlasting life” (Tyndale, 2012).
Have you ever asked God why?
I find myself asking God why, why did this happen to me? Many times, we question God about our problems in life not realizing that He is the problem solver. Yes, we deal with situations and circumstances that are not even big enough for God to say, “I need to handle this now.” God is the one that can and will do all things according to the power, what power, you ask.
For the word says in Ephesians 3:20 “Now unto Him who can do exceedingly abundantly, above all that we can ask or think according to the power works in us.”
God has called us to another power, which in terms means, God has called us to Him. He is the power that surpasses all power. There is a song that says, “who can stand against the Lord, who can stand against the King… and it goes on to say, “no one can, no one will” (Dulaney, 2016).
I can testify that there were times when I thought I could do all things and was able to fulfill my own destiny and desires only to find out that I cannot do anything without God.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
According to the Webster Dictionary, purpose is the reason for which something is done or created. The word define purpose as God’s will and plan for human life. Man, define purpose as something that he must obtain to gain acceptance by others or the world. How do you define purpose?
Well I define purpose as a place in which God has ordained and allows humanity to obtain only through divine intervention. Meaning nothing is too hard or impossible for God to get you to that destiny or desire that He has purposed for you according to his will.
I would rely on money, jobs, man, even society resources to only find out in the end that none of these things fulfill my life’s purpose. Destiny was ahead of me but too far to reach or come to it. God’s plan for my life was there but I was blinded by lust of the flesh and lust of the eye, what society would say was love, but God called it sin. Not knowing I was standing in the way of my own destiny with the perception that one day all my dreams would come true. I would fulfill my dreams of marrying the love of my life, have children, and live a life of happiness. I dreamed of living the good life with a man that would love me and take care of his family. My friends would share the same dream, come to the house for family gatherings, and go on shopping sprees, while enjoying the riches of our hands. Dreams that reality would laugh at in the end.
Purpose, what is it I asked? How can I obtain it and fulfill the destiny that God created me for?
How I long to see God’s will perfected in my life. I would have never thought that my purpose would be to conquer things that others couldn’t imagine even going through, let alone conquer or talk about. Who would have thought that little old I would walk in a women conference broken and come out stronger than I went in?
A change would come after the brokenness that I felt weeks before the trip. I would have never thought or imagine the word of God breaking every chain that was keeping this book from being written. I ask who would have thought my life would be a testimony for the nations and generations of women that has gone through the cycle of hurt, pain, and suffering. Through molestation, abandonment, brokenness, no father around to protect me from the raging animal nature of man. I suffered through heartbreaks and loneliness, wondering if I would ever find or have true love.
Suffering because no one could understand my going through the hurt, the pain, the mind set of not belonging, and how these things can affect the nurturing of a single mother of four. Suffering that would cause a cycle of curses that would be broken by the power of God through the prayers of a mother. I long for purpose because purpose is what it takes to understand the meaning of real love. True unconditional love was purposed for us to be reconciled back to the Father. Jesus was purpose!
2nd Corinthians 5:21 “God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
I would search the scriptures, go to every church meeting but what was my purpose. Scriptures would say that I was created to worship and praise God but with all that, I felt like it was more to just going to church, it was more than just reading scriptures, God wanted all of me and I wanted all of him.
When I began studying the word of God and writing out sermons I never imagine me being a minister or preaching the gospel but there was something on the inside of me that embraced the feeling of speaking his word. I never wanted to become a minister or have any title for that matter because I learned that humility was the best place to be. My prayer to God when he began to use me was God keep me humble before your people. Ministry became a passion for me and I loved the way God was revealing his word and message to me for his people, but I wasn’t satisfied with my own life.
My friends would tell me that I have an anointing on me that I couldn’t see, and I needed to ask God to show me. I would say I don’t want to see it because I want to always be humble before him.
Never be ashamed of what God has place in you because it’s all for his glory. I remember doing a sermon on Esther. Esther was a Jewish girl that became queen. Now Esther didn’t know anything about being a queen, I would even say that she didn’t even want the position. But it was her purpose and the one who knew this was her uncle Mordecai. Esther had to learn, prepare, and embrace this position for the hope of her people.
As I took this assignment, I had to ask the question why Esther, see God had been dealing with me about Esther and being a woman walking in authority, in royal priesthood. What I had to learn was that like Esther I had to prepare and embrace what God was doing in my life at this moment and how he was going to use me to get the glory.
When I speak on the word position, I’m not speaking about titles or the position a person holds in the church building. I’m speaking about your life purpose which is a position for all whom are chosen by God. God is looking for a people that will be committed no matter what comes or goes. Not just to look cute but that will fulfill the purpose and the will of God.
Esther had to embrace the position that she was chosen for as queen. Esther had to change her attitude, see she was looking at her position as queen as a title or place in the palace, but what she didn’t know was that God had placed her there to fulfill her purposed.
How she changed her attitude? She let go of the bitterness, she submitted to true spiritual authority, and she knew she could handle the pressure. She was prepared in advance, she was informed of her purpose, and she walked in her place. Esther didn’t miss her divine moment, it’s time to step out in faith and it’s time to draw near to God. God had to remind Esther of who she was and from where she came. It’s only by God’s grace that we are in positions that we are placed in. Whether it be in the church, job, home, or public eye we have a purpose to fulfill.
Life may lead you where you least expect but have faith that you are exactly where you need to be. Serving God demands us to die to our own life to gain the life of Christ. Often God places us in situations to accomplish his purpose. In those situations, we might go through some rough terrain, we may even face some predators along the path but know that God has equipped us for the journey.
While Esther was in the palace, her people was suffering and crying out for help. Danger was coming, the enemy was against them and death was near, but God had a plan of escape in place for them.
As we see today people are crying out because they are suffering. So much is going on and many don’t know the way, but if you are in position as God has willed, then the way has already been purposed.